I don't know how it all got this way but all I know is that people change through the years, months, weeks and days. Every hour, minute and second they realize new things. Change how they live through everyday to make up for past faults. I thought maybe I should change too.
In some ways I may consider that I've changed too. Though not entirely, I've made decisions that changed some of the negative habits I've been doing. I may not have changed entirely but I've started. And this start will help me move forward to the change I've wanted.
Ever since I've entered fourth year I've become more responsible to the way I act. Things were different when I was in grade 6. I had usually thought that the leaders, the best of the best, should be the ones to act. I didn't know back then that leaders became that way by changing this thought. And so I had lived elementary with no sense of responsibility and care for others. But now things have been different. The CAT thought me many things. It showed me that a real person becomes part of the community and not be the one to burden it. That leadership and initiative is within us all and that we should act upon it. That a real person chooses the betterment of the community; the betterment of those around them.
Having this knowledge has been my driving force. I've mostly chosen change rather than apathy. To be the one to first do the action that everyone else is putting off. Things that everyone looks to another person to do. And unlike others who fail to do so, I've tried to always look to myself for these things. I've always tried to help whenever I can and be the one to take the initiative. Though I don't always manage to accomplish these things, I've actually tried rather than succumb to indifference. I've also tried to be more kind to others. My temper occasionally gets the better of me but I've tried to suppress it. I've tried to have flow in my mind. A sense of awareness to what I've wanted to achieve. To be stable under pressure.
These things are a start of a larger change within me. And I'm happy that I've managed to start. It's hard at first. I've lived a whole year questioning who I was before starting this change within me. I've talked to a lot of people about changing and most of them gave me an answer that was very true: it isn't easy.
But taking the first step showed me that although it is difficult it's not impossible. That's the thing. Most people wouldn't take the risk because of their perception of impossibility. They don't start since they already think it's impossible. Thus they stay the same. And when everything's too late, when everything's more crystal clear, they'll regret that they didn't took the first step.
The first step, that's what bonds a community. Sets apart the indifferent and the ones who make a difference. If everyone were to take the first step, it'll be the start of change and the betterment of the community. And what's saddening is that it's what most people lack the initiative to do today.
I'll admit: I've blindly took the first step without knowing what lies ahead of me. The feeling of uncertainty was what held me back from taking it in the first place. It may also be what holds back others. And though I did take it, I still feel the presence of the old ways. The ways of apathy and indifference around me. It didn't change all of me but it did spark the flame. Being blind was key: Everything had it's potential. Everything had an opportunity for me. I didn't know at first how these things would help me but I stuck to my hope: that all this is positive change for me.
People change. And it is up to them to choose what changes they'll make and when to make it. To blindly take the first step is what they do. I only hope that what they change is for the good of themselves and for the good of others. To be a real person helping the community. So that all of us will have an opportunity to achieve their full potential.
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